Ah, Look At All The Lonely People

... "Eleanor Rigby. Picks up the rice in a church where a wedding has been.
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for?..."

It's for Parisa.

(Disclaimer: the following post is written solely by Parisa. Get excited with anticipation.)

I'm sure most of you know this, but the name our Jonathan & I's dog is Eleanor Rigby (affectionately known by those who love her as Ellie). We adopted her from the Humane Society together over 2 years ago & she's been the light of our lives ever since. She is the cutest, smartest, strangest, most full of personality & affectionate dog I've ever met. She sits on her bottom & raises her arms like a bear, as soon as she hears me pick up my purse & keys she runs to her "room" (crate) & waits for me to shut her door, she cocks her head from side to side when you talk to her, & she even runs & picks up her Santa toy (out of a pile of different toys) on command.

I had "custody" of Ellie before Jonathan & I got married & she was the best friend a girl could ask for. I swear, as weird as it may sound to some people, we truly had a routine together, & when our routine was altered, neither of us coped very well. Whenever we'd go on a trip & Ellie would stay at the Bahrami house, she'd sit by the front door on on the landing of the steps & cry & cry for us.

When we decided to move to New Jersey, the one thing I would not compromise on as far as our living situation was that the complex had to be pet friendly. After 3.5 long months of researching, looking & discussing, it looked like we had found an awesome apartment that we were both so excited about. The catch? It's not pet friendly.

It was not a decision that we're ok with & it's not a decision I'm happy with at all, but we really didn't have any other choice. Ellie is staying with my parents on an extended vacation, until we our lease is up & we move to a different apartment in June. I am so, so grateful to my parents for taking her & caring for her, because they know her so well & know her routine & mannerisms. I know she's in great hands. But not having here here has been... hard, to say the least. Before, I always knew no matter what had happened during the day, when I went home, there was a little pup who was elated to be with me. To snuggle with & play with & just love on me. And really, to let me love on her. On top of being away from my comfort zone, being away from my family & friends, Ellie isn't here with me either. Luckily my parents are awesome & send me pictures regularly & I look at them all the time, but it's not the same. I know it sounds crazy, but I really feel like I've abandoned my kid.

It's not permanent at all & we take care of Ellie from a distance still now, & she'll move to NJ with us as soon as we move to a new place, but I still feel like deep down, she thinks we've given her away. And that breaks my heart.

I know I'm probably being dramatic, & we really are so blessed to have the amazing apartment that we're living in & be in the gorgeous area that we are in, & to be living out the dream that we've talked about for so long. A lot of people don't get to actually live out their dreams; I realize how incredibly blessed we are. I just wish Ells Bells could be here to share it with us, & that our family unit would be all together again. I just need to keep reminding myself that the situation we're in right now is the best situation for everyone, & it's only temporary...